Much Ado About Nothing...
For those that don't know me at all....let me fess up and say that I'm a moaner. I'm always moaning about something. And today is no exception.
I'm moaning about something that may seem trivial and banal, but has made it to number one on my "list of things to moan about".It's about the whole dilemma of how to loose weight in the quickest and most effective manner (read PAINLESS). While I am not grossly fat... I do think I’m gloriously chubby and although that does not really cause people to stand and stare, it does make me want to do something about shedding all the unwanted lard. The other and more pressing need for me to loose weight is because I have to fit into a dress and look totally ravishing for a big wedding in December. And thus begins my battle of the bulge.
For months now I have agonised over my options.
Do I opt for:
* the tried, tested and failed diets - wont' work because I’m far too lazy to stick to a diet,
* the wonder pills, slim shakes - they taste horrible and I've been there and done that
* do I go with the dreaded sessions in the gym?
The idea of committing to a set program of exercises requires, in my opinion, not just willpower but sheer dedication (Read... Blood, Sweat and Toil). However, since it is the healthiest of all the options, I have decided to give it a go.
Secretly, I wish that old hag of a fairy godmother would hurry up, wave her magic wand and transform me into a "Timeless, Age-defying Goddess". Of course in a world full of Cinderella to Princess wannabees, she's probably inundated with requests (i.e. if she's figured out how to read her emails) . Quite honestly, the chances of her visiting me...Pumpkin, Rats, Glass Slippers, Prince, and all....are about as far-fetched as the chances of Bush and Bin Laden performing a duet of "That's what friends are for".
So with reality firmly in check, I marched off on Friday to join my local gym. Any apprehensions I had about "not fitting in" were soon dispelled by a lovely trainer at the gym who took me through the whole sales pitch and before I knew it, I had bought into the garbage and signed up for membership. The fact that he also resembled a Greek God had nothing whatsoever to do with it all(yeah right). Am I right to assume then, that it must be a USP for all businesses and services to use "attractive bait" to get their easy target hooked?
Anways, I left the gym that evening with a bag full of gym goodies and a promise that by the end of the year my body (and therefore my life) would be dramatically transformed. Now having paid a lot of money and not wanting to chicken out, I decided to show up for my first induction session. Much to my sheer disappointment, my induction was with a really UNACCTRACTIVE trainer. What a daft twit I am, for assuming the Greek God would be waived in front of me. They got my money. His job was done. Being a virtual gym virgin( I've only been about 3-4 times in my life) I listened attentively and won some praise for "being a quick and natural learner"...whatever that means. By the time we finished I had visions of me doing it all in a breeze. That's what praise and motivation does to you.
On Sunday, I went back to the gym. It's important to keep up the momentum, or so I told myself. Right, a check of all my gym gear.
* Gym bag - Check
* Stylish gym water bottle - Check
* Earphones for the TV/Radio - Check
* Gym sweat towel - Check.
Hurrah! I am gym queen, warmed up, ready and rearing to go. The treadmill is where I decide to start...it seems like a harmless machine....easy peasy. I can do this no problemo. I was instructed to start at just 5 minutes, so as not to overexert or shock my body too much. So I stepped up to the machine and then it proceeded to ask me a whole set questions:
* My Age
* My Weight
* The programme I want - cardio, fat burn, Fitness, Manual
* The incline
* The speed
By the time I answered all of that, it felt like I had been exercised. I reckon I lost a bit of weight on my fingers from answering all those questions.
I did however stick to my routine and an hour and a half later emerged from the gym with a sense of pride....and a really sore pair of legs and arms and muscles that I did not know I had. The plan is to ignore the niggling aches and pains...the first week blues as they call it and to keep going to the gym ......and so I've been diligently going on Monday, Tuesday and ....yes, I made it there today and I exercised, but I'm too damn tired to tell you all about it right now.
I'm moaning about something that may seem trivial and banal, but has made it to number one on my "list of things to moan about".It's about the whole dilemma of how to loose weight in the quickest and most effective manner (read PAINLESS). While I am not grossly fat... I do think I’m gloriously chubby and although that does not really cause people to stand and stare, it does make me want to do something about shedding all the unwanted lard. The other and more pressing need for me to loose weight is because I have to fit into a dress and look totally ravishing for a big wedding in December. And thus begins my battle of the bulge.
For months now I have agonised over my options.
Do I opt for:
* the tried, tested and failed diets - wont' work because I’m far too lazy to stick to a diet,
* the wonder pills, slim shakes - they taste horrible and I've been there and done that
* do I go with the dreaded sessions in the gym?
The idea of committing to a set program of exercises requires, in my opinion, not just willpower but sheer dedication (Read... Blood, Sweat and Toil). However, since it is the healthiest of all the options, I have decided to give it a go.
Secretly, I wish that old hag of a fairy godmother would hurry up, wave her magic wand and transform me into a "Timeless, Age-defying Goddess". Of course in a world full of Cinderella to Princess wannabees, she's probably inundated with requests (i.e. if she's figured out how to read her emails) . Quite honestly, the chances of her visiting me...Pumpkin, Rats, Glass Slippers, Prince, and all....are about as far-fetched as the chances of Bush and Bin Laden performing a duet of "That's what friends are for".
So with reality firmly in check, I marched off on Friday to join my local gym. Any apprehensions I had about "not fitting in" were soon dispelled by a lovely trainer at the gym who took me through the whole sales pitch and before I knew it, I had bought into the garbage and signed up for membership. The fact that he also resembled a Greek God had nothing whatsoever to do with it all(yeah right). Am I right to assume then, that it must be a USP for all businesses and services to use "attractive bait" to get their easy target hooked?
Anways, I left the gym that evening with a bag full of gym goodies and a promise that by the end of the year my body (and therefore my life) would be dramatically transformed. Now having paid a lot of money and not wanting to chicken out, I decided to show up for my first induction session. Much to my sheer disappointment, my induction was with a really UNACCTRACTIVE trainer. What a daft twit I am, for assuming the Greek God would be waived in front of me. They got my money. His job was done. Being a virtual gym virgin( I've only been about 3-4 times in my life) I listened attentively and won some praise for "being a quick and natural learner"...whatever that means. By the time we finished I had visions of me doing it all in a breeze. That's what praise and motivation does to you.
On Sunday, I went back to the gym. It's important to keep up the momentum, or so I told myself. Right, a check of all my gym gear.
* Gym bag - Check
* Stylish gym water bottle - Check
* Earphones for the TV/Radio - Check
* Gym sweat towel - Check.
Hurrah! I am gym queen, warmed up, ready and rearing to go. The treadmill is where I decide to start...it seems like a harmless machine....easy peasy. I can do this no problemo. I was instructed to start at just 5 minutes, so as not to overexert or shock my body too much. So I stepped up to the machine and then it proceeded to ask me a whole set questions:
* My Age
* My Weight
* The programme I want - cardio, fat burn, Fitness, Manual
* The incline
* The speed
By the time I answered all of that, it felt like I had been exercised. I reckon I lost a bit of weight on my fingers from answering all those questions.
I did however stick to my routine and an hour and a half later emerged from the gym with a sense of pride....and a really sore pair of legs and arms and muscles that I did not know I had. The plan is to ignore the niggling aches and pains...the first week blues as they call it and to keep going to the gym ......and so I've been diligently going on Monday, Tuesday and ....yes, I made it there today and I exercised, but I'm too damn tired to tell you all about it right now.
Comments
I can identify with you. Have been trying to lose weight for my wedding (which is in April!!!) Have just joined the Gym close to my home. Lets hope I don't have to waddle down the aisle!
love
Frennie
Give up now and avoid disappointment. We know you wont stick it out as you couldn't even walk around the block with out stopping at the neighbours 2 doors down for a cuppa. You are what you are so don't worry we love no matter what, fat thin or just inbetween. After all if we all were skinny and in perfect proportion who would we have to gossip about, so give up and now and accept the enevertible. You are what your are. Love you from us all
Alright, so I'm hoping to lose weight for the same wedding, and I'm hitting the gym, and eating better. However, I need to do it more than you do... and perhaps you need to post a picture of yourself so that the rest of us can judge...